Here's how I knew Saturn would be a hit: A Chevrolet dealer was talking smack about it.
It was 1992, and I had just dumped my piece-of-guano Pontiac LeMans GSE (in my defense, I was hoping for an American Opel Kadett GSi, not the Hyundai Excel's first cousin) for a still-novel Saturn SL1. Red, with tan cloth, a 5-speed and a sunroof. I was smitten by the plastic body panels, the peppy (and noisy) 1.9L engine, the hassle-free buying experience, and the fact that it was the Next Big Thing. (To the charge of being an Early Adopter, I plead guilty.)
I was on the phone with the guy who sold my grandmother a succession of Chevrolet Cavaliers: an old-timer who'd worked for a suburban Detroit Chevy dealer since God knows when ... and seemed to exclusively handle the retirees buying Option 1 cars.
"Thereon" ... that's what I'll call him ... did NOT have a sense of humor about Saturn. At all.
"I don't see why they couldn't have done the same thing with one of the other divisions," sniffed Thereon, doubtless hiking up his Sansabelt slacks while speaking.
Of course, what Thereon didn't get was that no Honda or Toyota driver was going to set foot inside Huckster McFlimflam Chevy, if it meant playing "the game" of negotiating. The people at Saturn got that, so they created the "no-haggle" model, to get people in the door to check out the radical (for 1992) new cars they were building. Between that and the touchy-feely Hal Riney ad campaign, it was the perfect rollout, and Saturn popped to the top of consumer-satisfaction surveys.
Then, a funny thing happened on the way to small-car domination: GM stopped caring.
After huge early success and tons of positive buzz, it took Saturn until 1999 ... that's EIGHT YEARS ... to get a midsize car on the lot, and not spin growing Saturn families off to Accords or Camrys ('cause it isn't like they were buying Oldsmobiles, right?). When the midsize car did show up, it was peeled off the Opel Vectra platform, with the driving flair somehow missing. In addition, the first clean-sheet redesign of the bread-and-butter compacts didn't happen until LAST YEAR, when they were replaced with something that looks like it was designed by Edward Scissorhands, and barely meets class average. (Car and Driver's road test called it "the most disappointing all-new American car in a decade.")
Not only that, but sales are off this year, and Saturn's been forced to do extended shutdowns at the Wilmington plant where the L300 is built. Even sales for the division's one bright spot ... the VUE ... are off. I suspect that's because the no-haggle model is tough to push when Huckster McFlimflam Chevy is offering $4000 rebates on every car on the lot, practically. (Oh, and the VUE's been poached as the basis for the new Chevrolet Equinox)
Now, the final blow to the myth of Saturn's autonomy: GM announced that Saturn will begin selling a minivan ... its first ... in 2005. The RELAY is a fairly conventional, vaguely Volvo-looking minivan, which will be built in Georgia at a conventional plant, alongside versions for Chevy, Pontiac and Buick. Oh ... and here's the other part: It's made of STEEL. No plastic body panels. No distinguishing Saturn marks. It might as well have been the new Silhouette ... oh, wait, there's no more Oldsmobile, is there?
Prediction: The faithful will hate it, the window-shoppers will follow the rebates, and the Sienna/Odyssey buyers will stay loyal to their faves.
So let's review. The "groundbreaking" Spring Hill plant will only be building the ION and the VUE by '05, with the L300 and the RELAY coming from conventional GM plants. The "landmark" UAW agreement designed to slip into a shirt pocket is long gone. The L300 is done in '05 or '06, after which GM says it'll be replaced, but anything else in that class would siphon buyers away from the Malibu. With the exception of the ION, all of Saturn's slated product after '05 will have twins at other GM dealerships, including the planned convertible that's based on the Pontiac Solstice. The General just took the amazing step of euthanizing a whole brand, to shore up the health of the rest of the car lines. And of course, everyone involved in bringing Saturn to market is looooong gone now.
What it all means, I fear, is that GM's amazing experiment to get import buyers to check out a domestic product ... one which had a lot of promise in the beginning ... is coming to an end, because of a lack of corporate courage, and a NON-lack of corporate politics. It also means Thereon wins ... and that bugs me more than anything else.
Scion of the times, Part II. By contrast, Toyota announced this week that its Scion GenY division will have a nationwide rollout starting next year. The auto show circuit this year will get its first look at the third Scion model, the 2-door tC, which is aimed squarely at the Honda Civic coupe so popular with the tuner crowd. As we said here a few days ago, Toyota confirms that Scion is hitting its demographic targets, and is selling like crazy, especially in California. Now, why couldn't Saturn be doing something edgy like Scion, instead of just doing something with edges?
A discouraging word. I've been reading Car and Driver for years, and it's still my favorite of the mainline USA car magazines. But the new issue ... the 10Best issue ... bugs me for a few reasons. Not because of the cars selected as the 10 best, because I have no quarrel with the list. Here's why:
*In the big comparison of the Ford GT v the Porsche GT3 v the Ferrari Challenge Stradale, the editors inform us that because top-speed testing isn't FINISHED on the car yet, they couldn't take it over 170. This would make the 47th piece on the GT in C/D ... AND IT'S NOT EVEN DONE YET. I know ... putting the GT on the cover sells ... but honestly, I am over the boosterism for this car. (I even LIKE the car, too)
*They grouse about the hard ride on the BMW 5-Series and the X3, then mention that both cars were equipped with the "sports" suspension. Gee, guys, think the ride's a function of the suspension? Did you try one without the sports package for comparison?
*They kvetch that the Acura TL has bags and bags of torque steer ... but nearly as a footnote, mention that the automatic doesn't have that problem to the same extent, and relent that the auto is probably the TL to have. Since Acura estimates that 80% will be sold with the automatic, maybe THAT would have been the one to test?
I know ... it's not Consumer Reports. And I don't want it to be. But in these instances, a little more diligence, and a little more respect for the readers, would have gone a long way.
Before I go ... I'll still read C/D ... as long as John Phillips keeps his job. He's easily the best writer on the staff ... just because he doesn't take ANY of it too seriously, especially himself. Check out his writeup on the Dodge Sprinter van in the 10Best issue ... and the pictures!
Next time: Ford decides it's NOT such a small world, after all.
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